In the future we'll all be gay
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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