shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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