dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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