I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
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he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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