A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
