So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
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my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
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I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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