I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She's like a pop up book from hell.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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