The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
