I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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