i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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