You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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