Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize