btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
