there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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