I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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