I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize