you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
