This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
