So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
