it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
