Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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