Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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