Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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