Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
