Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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