Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
