I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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