Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
