I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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