tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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