Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish i was in the wii world.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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