nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
