So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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