I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
