I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
