Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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