I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
