I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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