who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
