"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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