man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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