I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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