Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
