Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
