i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
