"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
