billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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