Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
