Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize