That's when you crack a 10am beer
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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