Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
