FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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