If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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