Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
