she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
