I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
