i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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