is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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