yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
