i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
