let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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