...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
