The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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