I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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