Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
